Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Pat Buchanan: >To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Louis Farrakhan: >The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Colonel Sanders: >I missed one?

L.A. Police Department: >Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Richard M. Nixon: >The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

Dr. Seuss: >Did the chicken cross the road? >Did he cross it with a toad? >Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway: >To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: >I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: >In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle >It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx: >It was an historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein >This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan: >What chicken?

Captain James T. Kirk: >To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder: >You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Machiavelli: >The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Freud: >The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Bill Gates: >I have just released Chicken Coop 98, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book-and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

Einstein: >Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Bill Clinton: >I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.